99 days to go...

We are officially only 99 days away from Ragnar...and my running has not improved much. In fact, I think I may have taken a huge leap backward :/
I'm not sure what my problem has been the past couple of weeks, but I'm just not feeling it like I was. Running is so damn hard for my body that I get all discouraged and frustrated cause I want to run 10 miles, but 4 miles just about does me in. I did a 3 miler this morning for the first time in what feels like a lifetime. It was not pretty, but I did it. I am starting from the bottom of the training scale and trying to slowly work my way up again. When I ran 4.5 miles a few weeks ago, I felt awesome and energized...but when I got home from 3 miles this morning, I thought I was going to have a stroke! I was sweating like a pig, my contacts were dried to my eyeballs and my heart was racing. What the hell is wrong with me? I've had this little twinge in my knees when I'm half way into my run so now I think I need to start taking glucosamine...I'm slowly turning into my mother {my knees, my hips, etc!} LOL! *sigh* I should be grateful that I'm able to run and at least I'm getting out there...that's half the battle! Tomorrow's a new day and I will start again....

I've lost my groove

Running has lost it's thrill & excitement for me. What a bummer. All that mojo I had a couple of weeks ago has gone away someplace and I can't seem to find it. I don't wake up excited to tackle my run anymore and that freaks me the f* out! I didn't even go 2 miles today without stopping twice and decided that I didn't even want to finish the damn run and walked home......yes, WALKED. My neck was killing me and that's all I could focus on. My mental motivation is at an all time low, my physical ability to run is at an all time low, my spirit to do this is at it's lowest yet...and I can't even take a break because then it's even worse when I start up again! Yikes! I'm lost. I was up to running over 4 miles, which is GREAT for me, but I'm back at square one. Like I'm brand new to this and I'm really mad, pissed, frustrated, confused & perplexed about it. I really don't know what to do.

3 & a half months to go....

...but who's counting, right? I feel like I have been losing my motivation & determination to run this damn thing, and today's run (if you can even call it that!) showed it! I was just not feeling it mentally or physically this morning. This was probably one of my worst runs I've had since I started. I'm going too long in between days that I run and it's getting me down in the worst way. It's been so hard between working, kids home all day, dinner, cleaning, kid's activities, etc that I feel my drive is slowly going away. I cut my run short today cause I mentally beat myself up out there that I just did not enjoy it. It took me 25 minutes to run 2.15 miles and I had enough. I have to step up my game and try again tomorrow. As my friend Casey always says: sometimes you have to just keep on keeping on.

That's all I have some days....

Running after vacation ends

I have been a fat, lazy ass the past week. John & I took the kids to the beach for a long weekend and I didn't do one bit of exercise, running, nothing! Unless laying on the beach looking for young, hot surfers counts as exercise. I did boogie board the last day there, so I will take that as a workout ;) We got back home super late Monday night & I got back to the gym yesterday. I only did it to attempt to lose the 3 pounds and poochy stomach I had gained while stuffing my face with unhealthy food for several days. I ran 2 miles & thought I would die. Running after indulging on vacation for 5 days is NOT an easy task! I was a hot mess. I am attempting to get back on track with my running again. I got up early this morning to head out, but not before I slather every inch of exposed skin with SPF 55 sunscreen. I think I found an old lady wrinkle running down the middle of my chest, so I am freaking out! All this sun CAN'T be good, right?

Anyways, I tried to get outside by 5:40ish to avoid as much of the heat as possible, but didn't leave until 15 minutes later. I had mapped out a 4.6 mile course last night that I was attempting today. SCORE! I did it!! It felt so good to be running, with my lungs on fire and my breathing all loud & ragged....it just felt great to be moving like that again! It was hot. And my first half of the run was uphill, but I enjoyed it so that I could enjoy the downhill part that much more. But it felt l-o-n-g and I felt like I was running in slow motion. I had to take a very short walk break just to regroup my thoughts and concentrate on how fast {...or slow...} I needed to be moving. All in all, it was a good run. I did have to take 3 walk breaks, so short & insignificant that I almost don't want to mention them, but I would feel like I was "cheating" if I didn't say anything ;) My calves are throbbing like crazy right now & I definitely feel a strain in my knees & ankles. I think I will stay at 4 and a half miles for the next week or 2, at a slow & easy pace {uhhhh, my normal pace} then try to build up my speed after I can "easily" do my 4.5 miles. *sigh* It's a work in progress.

No fun

So I've been a slacker since Friday. I had a crazy, busy weekend with Emma's dance recital & dance commitments we made, so I feel like I've been nonstop. My mind has been in La-La Land the past couple of days and I been feeling out of sorts. Not motivated to get out there. I was set to go running yesterday morning, but when my alarm rang, I just could not get myself out of bed...so I didn't. I had every intentions on running last night, but that went out the window as soon as the kids went to bed. I was drained. I DID set my alarm for 5:15 this morning, but totally slept through the damn thing! John & I went to the gym and I decided that I should probably run on the treadmill. Yikes...no fun at all! I love how easy it is for my body to run a few miles. I DON'T love how damn boring the treadmill is! I feel like I run so much slower and a few miles takes SO much longer! It's no wonder hamsters have a life-span of only a couple of years...they're so bored running on their damn wheel, going nowhere, that I bet they PRAY for a short life! How miserable. I literally could not run if I had to run on the treadmill day in and day out. It was pure torture. If it wasn't for the effervescent goodness of my nuun drink {it's like a party in my mouth!}, I would have hurled myself in front of the feet of the person running next to me, in hopes that I would be trampled to death just so I could be out of my misery ;) That will teach me to sleep in when I should be up & out the door. I do have to say though, when I don't run for a few days, I sure miss it. I feel good that I was at least able to run today. You can bet that I won't sleep through another alarm though :)

Damn dog

What a frustrating morning already! I have come to enjoy the mornings I get to wake up at 5:15 and go for a run. It's mentally cleansing for me. This morning was not one of those times. As I'm sitting here, I'm already forming a headache, I'm not in a great frame of mind...and I have a hugely long day ahead of me. John & I started bickering the second we got up for something I can't even remember {I know...it was THAT important!}, so he decided not to run with me cause he hated my guts [and I hated his}, then I being the dumb ass that I am, had the BRIGHT idea to take our fat-ass, overweight 60 pound pitt-bull on a run instead! WTF? Anyone who knows me AT ALL knows that although I own 2 dogs, I'm not a dog lover. These dogs are a part of our household simply because I have kids {and a husband}. I prefer my dogs to have a life-span of less than 10 years {3 years, ideally}...BUT I do like them because they're my dogs. I know better than to take my stupid dog for a walk...let alone a run: she does NOT listen to me at all. So as we start on our run, Jerk-Face {not her real name} is ALL over the effin' place. She's sniffing here & there for the first half mile until I can get to a street where there's no dogs. She does somewhat OK until I get back on the side streets closer to my house. There are dogs going ballistic all over the damn place! And Jack-Ass is yanking my arm out of it socket to try to crash through people's fences to get to the other dogs. This is all not even 3 miles into my run! OK and get this: every damn morning when I run by myself, I might see a rabbit...as in ONE rabbit. Today? I saw probably no less than 3,459 of those little bastards all over the place! And you know why? Because I had my damn dog with me who attempted to chase every single one she saw. I was so pissed by this point that I cut my run short and walked my dog home, praying a train would appear out of nowhere so I could push her in front of it. So I only got 3.75 miles in today, with maybe 3.25 of that a run...a broken up run. That will be the last time Dummy comes with me. I feel frustrated and not at all energized or accomplished. I'm going back to bed :/

4 miles

I did it! I was a little stressed last night thinking about how long it would take me to run 4 miles...surely foreseeing over an hour. Good to know it only took me about 48 minutes. Not great, but far exceeding what I thought my slow ass was capable of! It didn't help that the wind was blowing against me all the way back, so I felt like I was running extra slow. Not fun! I need to remember not to map runs that are one long continuous stretch of almost a mile & a half. Meaning, I ran one straight line for over a mile, and it felt like it was 6 miles...it was worse coming back! It is so much better for me {mentally} to have little stretches of side streets thrown in to break up the monotony. I did use my ipod today, which I'm not sure if I actually enjoyed it or not, but I guess it gave me something else to focus on besides my own breathing. I wanted so badly to cut my run short. My knees started hurting, which only started right after I did the mud run, my calves were hurting, but I was not PHYSICALLY unable to keep going. Once again, that's where my mental blocks come in. But I knew if I just walked home, I'd be really pissed all day, so I finished up and was not dying as I came into the house. Score! So happy I made it, and SUPER happy to be done for the day.
Note to self: May need new running hat. Noticed my shadow as I was running and saw that my head looked slightly cone-shaped. Damn hat. It IS the hat.....right?