No energy today :(

I'm still here...still training, but have had no heart or desire to post...and nothing new has been going on in the running world for me. I've been more or less sticking to my training schedule, except this week has been a little screwy. Work really craps on my day ;) So what I discovered today was that I'm really stupid when it comes to nutrition and water intake. Yes, I KNOW it's important to eat and drink plenty of water, but sometimes I try to pack so much into my days that I don't think about the time I eat or WHAT I'm eating in (or how much water I'm drinking). I need to change that. Now. I had planned a 4 mile run today after I dropped my kids off at school, so I ate a bowl of oatmeal with almonds & had a cup of coffee at about 8am, figuring I'd get to run at about 9:15. I don't know what I was thinking, but after I dropped the kids off, I came home to foam roll my butt & legs and got stuck watching something on TV for a half hour or so. After filling up my 2 small water bottles and getting my ipod, it was already about 10am and I headed out. It was pretty warm outside and slowly getting hotter, but I didn't think anything of it. The first 1.5 miles of my run was all uphill...and it sucked. I couldn't even go a mile without stopping. I was getting little black spots behind my eyes and felt dizzy. I had already finished my 1st bottle of water by this point and didn't have much energy. By the time I got to 2 miles, my heart was pounding like crazy, I had run out of water, my stomach was growling with hunger and I was shaking. I had no choice but to head home, but still being about a mile away. I pushed myself to run home as quick as I can just to get there faster, but I was not feeling well. After analyzing what probably went wrong, I realized I barely drank any water prior to the run and didn't eat enough. I forgot that as it gets hotter outside, I need to drink a ton more water. I won't make that mistake again. I was so dehydrated today that I suffered a terrible migraine all day & threw up 3 or 4 times. What a dummy. I can't let that happen again!! Seattle Half is now only 80-something days away!!

I hate today

I really need to get to a point in my running life that when I have a horrible run day, it doesn't spill out into my "normal" mom/wife day. I just get so pissed when my body doesn't cooperate with me!! I ran over 5 miles on Saturday and felt awesome, kept my time within the range that made me happy....ran 3 miles with my husband on Monday (he smoked me...screw him! ;)) but felt really good and had a good time. Was going for 3.5 today, but could not get my body to react in a positive manner. Everything hurt. I was trying to keep a positive mental attitude, telling myself that slow & steady today means I can go for 4 tomorrow and not hurt. Wrong. The 1st two miles of today's run was mainly uphill, which I did just fine (what I mean is: slow), but I didn't stop. But crap...my knee hurt and I've been noticing that the bone by my big toe on my right foot has been in pain, to the point where I can't put a lot of pressure on that side of my foot when I walk. So I think I'm compromising my running form to compensate for my typical aches. It's totally my fault, cause husband has been trying to adjust my low back/sciatica, but since my hips have been hurting, I have been nothing but a pain in the ass patient for him, making it impossible for him to help me. I don't care what my hips feel like later on, but when he gets home from work, I HAVE to let him fix my low back issue...I know that will clear up at least half, if not more of my running issues. *sigh* I'm a mess. I'm really going to need to take the rest of the week (and possibly the weekend) off to let everything heal. This blows.

"Are you a runner...?"

I was sitting at my daughter's dance class the other day, thumbing through a copy of the latest Runner's World magazine when a mom next to me asked me that question.

"Are you a runner?"
"uhhhhh......" was my reply. I'm embarrassed to admit that I didn't know WHAT to say. AM I a runner? Do I run? Sure. Slowly. Does that matter? Then I expanded my answer to her as she stared at me expectantly, probably thinking what a dumb-ass I was for not even knowing if I'm a runner. I told her "I'm TRYING to be a runner. Meaning I haven't done a whole lot except for a few fun races and a relay." I left it at that....but I find that "conversation" running through my head {no pun intended} on my runs. When I think of a runner, I think of my husband...or Dean Karnazes {ohhh...hubby will be thrilled that I think of him in the same context of D.K. LOL!}, but me...?? Never. That blows. I put a lot of hard work into trying to be a better runner, so dammit, I should be proud to say that "YES! I'm a runner!" I just feel lame. Maybe after my 1st Half Marathon in June I will feel different. :/



In other news, remind me to never attempt to go for a run when I'm not feeling well. I caught my husband's head cold and feel like a big pile of poo. My head was so stuffy today I thought it would explode...yet I thought if I went for a 3.5 mile run, it would help clear it. Between stopping to blow my nose every 25 steps and not having enough oxygen supply in my lungs to be able to take adequate breaths, I could only go 2 miles (barely) before I thought I was going to die. My head had so much built up pressure inside it that I had to stop & walk the rest of the way home, where I collapsed onto my bed. Ugh. I really felt terrible. Hopefully this head cold will not be a long term thing and I can be back outside by the weekend. The weather is supposed to be in the 70's and I don't want to miss any of it ;)

Back out there

Being 38 years old has been very kind to me thus far.....

Knowing that I have a Half Marathon in just 111 days, running has been nagging at me in the back of my mind, but frankly, it's been the last thing I've wanted to do. I hate when I disappoint myself. I was doing so good, being consistent, then stop. The weather had been crap and I was feeling old & fat. This weekend's weather was SO.AMAZING! Husband had a meeting yesterday morning, so I decided to get off my lazy ass and go for a run. Putting on my shoes and getting dressed were the easy parts....walking out the door was torture! I wanted to lay face down on my couch, close my eyes and sleep for an hour....but knowing I had 4 kids scattered around various parts of the house, sleep was not going to happen until at least 10pm, so I got my ipod, water & tissue and headed out the door. My GOD it felt good to move! I was thrilled that first .86th of a mile...then the very strong urge to pee hit me. Hard. What the hell??! I ALWAYS pee before I leave the house! This urge would not go away. Then I realize what's happened: I turned 38 a week ago and suddenly my bladder has shriveled and I can't wait 45 minutes to go. I knew if I did not take care of business, this was going to be a miserable & long run. Lucky for me, I was running in an area that doesn't get much traffic plus has a lot of bushes (ummm, hi!?...can you say, SMART PLACE FOR A GIRL TO RUN ALONE..? Stupid.) Anyways...I did the deed (so much better!) and went on. I must say, this was not my finest 4.5 miles, but it wasn't bad considering the fat blob my body has become AND that I'm a WHOLE.YEAR.OLDer! ;)
I made it home, rested for a bit then took my 2 little ones on a 1 mile jog (their idea, not mine). I don't know what is happening to my body, but by the time I showered and went out with husband and some friends to dinner, my hips hurt so damn bad! Every step I took sent an excruciating pain into both hips, but the left one more so. They felt bruised and battered. By the time the night was over, I could barely lift my legs to step into the bath. OUCH! They still hurt today, but not as much now as they did first thing this morning. oh wait...I take that back. I just got out of the chair to yell at a kid and I felt like a 95 y/o granny hobbling out of the room. This is awesome. Running has been so amazing to my body {did you note the sarcasm?}
Obviously I didn't run today, but went frog hunting/hiking with the kids instead. Hoping tomorrow I will wake up and leap out of bed with no aches or pains and do a few miles before I get the kids out the door for school. One can wish...

*sigh*

I've lost my mojo! Good god. I turned 38 yesterday (but shhhhh....! I'm still telling everyone I'm 32!) and I FEEL every single one of those 38 years!! I don't want to run, or go to the gym, or do anything. I feel sad. I know, I HATE those girls who turn 23 and cry about it because they're getting SO.OLD. I swear I'm not one of those stupid chicks. Birthdays have never bothered me...ever. Until this one. I can't do anything about it, but it makes me depressed. So anyways, I'm using my birthday as an excuse to not run and now I'm not only depressed, I'm stressed out. Damn it!